I listened to your podcast on failure and realised just how much of my life has been determined and driven by my fear of what others will think of me and of failing (and people seeing it). My self talk is all about what everyone else may be thinking about me, my weight (I need to loose some), my kids, my husband, my house, my clothes, my life! The big one for me is weight, I want to eat better and exercise, but I have realised I am scared to…because people will see the change….and what if I don’t stick to the new plan, the new diet, and it just confirms I am a failure. This sounds terribly sad I know. The rest of my life is quite fantastic. My family is supportive, we are financially secure, the kids are at good schools…and yet I have this voice in my head that tells me that everyone is watching, judging and going to laugh at me if I start to go to the gym and stop being the one who over eats and drinks and doesn’t care. Does this even make sense?!?
SO SCARED OF FAILURE
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It makes total sense.
I recommend you do the daily intention workbooks on the home page each night in December and read the workbook on the home page “The Most Important Lesson I Can Teach You”.
Your thinking is causing you to stay stuck. Thoughts like
What if I fail
What will they think
What if I don’t stick with the diet
What if I confirm I am a failure
Are never going to generate any other feeling other than fear and anxiousness.
What if you stick with the plan
What if you are a rock star at being healthy
What if you are a total success
You have 2 choices.
1. Ask yourself better questions / feed your brain better thoughts and take action toward being healthier
2. Continue to worry about what others think and take no action
You may fail with option 1. But what if you win? Because there is a chance you will be a success and lose the weight, that chance is increased significantly if you feed your brain better questions and thoughts.
What we don’t realise is that you are guaranteed of failure with option 2 – it isn’t a public failure – everyone else just continues to see you as the eating, drinking, I don’t care girl…but you feel the failure, you look back on your life and you regret having never had a go, risked everyone laughing at you, and honoured that voice inside that tells you that you are capable of more.
You have got this and I am here to help you all the way.
What other people think of you, is not your business. This is the best news ever! Because now you can focus on your business.
You want to lose some weight. How much? What do you want to weigh?
What are you going to eat? Get clear on what you will eat daily, write out a meal plan (there will be workbooks for this in extra learning that will be available in February). Stick to it.
What exercise do you want to commit to? Schedule it and honour the plan.
Then we get to work – managing your mind! Better thoughts, better questions.
Here are some suggestions of new ways of thinking that you can practice:
I have got this.
I am in control.
I take responsibility for my life.
I am healthy and focused on honouring my commitment to myself.