Hi Laura, thank you for the Christmas podcast. Feel this is something I need to focus on. I had been trying to work through the questions- how do you want to be/ feel etc, they can act like x but then just when I felt like I could do it I was thrown a few curveballs and have lost it. Angry/ upset/ sad/ grumpy. Right before Xmas.
The first was when I saw my mother yesterday and she said to me ‘I think you should join weight watchers’ this upset me enormously and I already know I’ve stacked on weight this year due to a back injury which has left me unable to undertake my usual training let alone walk for fitness and I’ve been eating to deal with this at times and the pain.
Then my 2 year old whose always been a terrible sleeper has started to wake up to 4 times a night again and is up at 5.30am each day. I felt I had a handle on this with the help of a sleep psychologist but we’ve gone backwards. My husband does not help in the mornings or through the night and I’m exhausted. I’m done getting up at 5am everyday when my husband sleeps in and gets a block of sleep each night.
Then he expects to have time to ride and says I do have time to myself when Im with the children in school holidays or at work !! I feel completely misunderstood and unappreciated. I feel he is completely self focused and unsupportive. Then I yell and get angry and resentful.
I know I need to adjust my expectations to have no help and no support from my family or husband and stop causing myself pain but I just can’t seem to free myself from the attachment to how I feel things should be or how I want them to be.