I am not sure if I am quite ready to pour this out to the YLD world yet but here goes…and apologise for me going ‘blurgh….’.
As you know I caught up with you at the end of 2017 to seek assistance because I didn’t like the person I had become. I was overworked and well, just burnt out. After our meeting and the reading material you sent me, I felt energised and positive, ready to give the advice and strategies a red hot go. I ended up getting a great new job in December and on purpose for the first time ever, I told them that I couldn’t start until mid January and I planned to take a month off to try and recharge my batteries because I wanted to be refreshed. Needless to say, I thought after the terrible 2017 that I had had, surely it was turning and 2018 was going to be ‘our’ year – I know how silly this sounds…
I had also decided to take Christmas off for the first time ever to spend with my partner’s family in NSW and that is where I planned to relax, unwind, read up and get prepared for 2018 and start my coaching. However, things did not go to plan. On arrival on the Saturday before Christmas, we were informed that my partner’s cousin who he was incredibly close to, had taken his own life that morning. As you can imagine, this changed everything and I did my best to care for my grieving partner & family as best I could whilst I was already physically, mentally and emotionally ruined. I felt so drained, alone and overworked as I tried to help my mother-in-law salvage what we could of Christmas and be there for support. I’d only recently listened to your podcast about the holidays and how you shouldn’t let what other people do effect you, which helped but the experience just drained me. From there, I was straight into a work commitment in intrastate which also didn’t go to plan and we arrived in late last night.
I start my new job in a week and I am no more relaxed, thinner, more sober, calm, centred or educated than I was a month ago. I feel overwhelmed and scared and I don’t know where to start with the course or how to not come across like a mental person in a week’s time. I want to get back to being my usual ‘half glass full’, positive personality.
Sorry for the long winded message, just seeking some direction and how to get back on track for this rocky start for 2018….clearly I will be taking your advice below on board, as I am still not sleeping.
Looking forward to coaching with you this year.
Blurgh is always Ok here – so never apologise.
First and foremost, you are exactly where you are meant to be right now and you can start to feel better, but this requires you to be very intentional about who you choose to be right now.
2017 is done. Take what you have learned, and move forward. The only reason this year will be a repeat of last is if allow your thinking to continue as it is.
I want you to read over your message again and see how negative it is. This is not wrong or bad, but it is very negative, which is a reflection of negative (stuck, overwhelmed, stressed) thinking. How you talk about the last few weeks is not incorrect, no doubt most people would agree with you about how you see the last few weeks.
But here is a different version that is totally available to you.
I got a fantastic new job after deciding that I wanted change in 2018.
I have this new opportunity to start a role and job in a way that is sustainable long term and allows me to thrive.
My parters cousin committed suicide recently, it was a difficult time, we are all sad for the loss.
I was a fantastic partner in this time, I stepped up and supported him and I helped make Christmas as good as it could be for everyone in a challenging time. I was his rock, I am proud of myself.
I now have a week before my new job.
I am going to get very clear on what I want for 2018 in this role and in my personal life.
I am going to spend the next 7 days thinking, feeling and acting in ways that make me feel energised, healthy and calm.
I am going to sleep 8 hours every night.
I am not going to over drink or over eat.
I am going to take time to breathe, relax and get ready for a new beginning.
I am a rock star.
Now you may want to throw something at me right now…and that is Ok 🙂
But I want you to see that this is totally available to you…as is your version…any other version of your life in between. One view has you feeling overhwelmed and stuck. How would you be feeling if you were to even adopt some of my version?
You get to decide.
It is Ok to be tired and drained. But don’t stay there, because you are not stuck, you are the one, the only one, who can get yourself out of here and I am here to help all the way.
Where to start?
Look at the next week and set aside time each day for the program to get clear and centred.
Schedule time for sleep, movement, rest, play, connecting with your loved ones and friends.
Schedule time to just be still and quiet.
Decide now when you will drink, how much, stick to that.
Be very very intentional about what you give your time, attention and energy to.
If you find yourself in a negative space, don’t push it away, take a look, see how your negative thinking is causing you to feel terrible, decide if you want to keep thinking that way.
With the course.
Start with the workbook ‘The Most Important Lesson I Can Even Teach You’ on the home page.
Each evening, starting on the day you start (dont go back and do previous missed days), do the action workbook for that day, it takes a few min, do it before bed, it can be part of a bedtime routine.
Then if you have time do the Learning and Reflection Workbook.
Don’t worry about the podcast workbooks if you feel stretched.
I want you to think about how do you, calm, relaxed, sober, thinner, centred…THINK? What do you focus on? How to you FEEL? What emotions do you use to drive your day? And how to you SHOW UP for yourself each day? How do you act?
Just answering those questions alone will give you clarity on what needs your attention right now.
You have got this, and I am here to help you all the way. Breathe, decide how you want to think, and be gentle on yourself.