Hey Laura 🙂
I have a question regarding feeling happy. I get that it’s not realistic to feel happy all of the time, like if you lost you’re job it would be weird if you genuinely felt happy about it. But my question is around not necessarily feeling happy when you are doing things that ‘should’ make you feel happy, like having lunch with friends, going on a girls weekend, going for a morning walk etc. There are instances where I have been doing these things and not feeling the joy I would expect to feel. Why? It is expectation? Maybe it is blaming others for the way I feel?
Look forward to your thoughts xx
Hey Laura 🙂
Such a good question!
You think that the lunch, the friends, the walk make you happy…they dont. How you chose to think about these activities is what determines how you feel.
Look at how you tend to think about these activities when you dont feel good about them. What are you saying to yourself about them? It is the thinking that causes the feeling not the activity, every time.
Also. I am curious. Do you want these activities to make you happy? Or are you doing them out of obligation? If you want them to bring you joy, look at how you would be thinking about these things if you were happy about doing them.
But if you are doing these things because you feel obliged, its just ‘what you do’ or ‘what is excpected’ that is a different issue.
For years I felt obliged to go out for dinners, I never enjoyed them. Now I could have changed my thinking about this…but when I looked at it I realised it wasn’t that I wanted to enjoy going out to late dinners with friends, I actually wanted to stay home. I’m a coffee in the morning girl and that’s Ok.
What is it for you. How do you want to feel? What do you want to be doing with friends, exercise wise? You can pick up garbage and feel happy if you want to. You get to decide.