I just wanted to ask your thoughts about something that has happened a bit lately.
I walk away from catch ups with friends who in the past I would have felt really connected to, or new friendships and my internal sense is that I’m not having the same connection.
I generally have walked away feeling less than- I have nothing to offer- my life is boring-I’m not I interesting, I understand that what other people think is none of my business but I can’t help feel sad that these connections seem weak and I wonder if this is because I felt strengthened in the past by these relationships and validated and now I don’t.
I wonder if this is because I am generally stuck in my head and negative??? Help!
I feel I’m losing my connection to some really dear friends of many many years. Hope this is ok to ask xx
In the past you felt different about these interactions because you were thinking differently. Or perhaps you were not thinking much at about them.
In the pas, what were you thinking before, during and after you caught up with these friends?
What are you thinking now?
Sometimes this work means that in certian relationships where there was no real intentional thinking or genuine connection.
Here is an example: for me some friendships, when I was drinking, were just about having friends to drink with. There wasn’t much more to it than that. In these cases you have to ask yourself – how do I want to feel right now about this friendship? Has this friendship completed itself? If it has – that is Ok. You can love someone and let them go.
In others it is about considering how your thinking is impacting on the relationship.
How do you WANT to feel toward them?
Go through each friend and really consider this.
How to you want to feel?
How would you be thinking in order to feel this way?
If there is a specific relationship you want to work on here submit a q to be coached live – this is a great question and one that for a specific situation is good for direct coaching.