Working hard in my job and supporting my family. My wife supports me but does not appreciate me – I feel she doesn’t see how hard I work and never recognises the sacrifiices I have made in terms of parenting / family time. I often feel alone in terns of the financial resp for our family. We are financially in a good place yet I feel a constant pressure and fear that things will go wrong and it will be all on me to fix it. How do I better manage this responsibility and have my wife see how much I work / the importance of the role I play?
January Coaching Call: Being the financial provider for my family
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Fear of a future possible failure or challenge means you are living in the future and in fear of it – missing the moment.
Living today as if that bad thing has happened – something that may never eventuate!
This means you rob yourself of the current moment and the potential for enjoying it with this fear based thinking.
You think the solution is appreciation from your wife – But it isn’t.
The issue here is that you feel alone and unappreciated because of the way you are thinking.
‘I am alone on this’
“If things go wrong its all on me’
These thoughts make you feel seperate from your wife, like you are no longer a team, like you are isolated and at risk.
Expecting appreciation from others and making that the reason you do things builds resentment and this idea that you are better than / more important / seperate.
You are not better, more important or separate – from anyone, including your wife.
Doing anything for the purpose of appreciation is never a good idea.
What if you took 100% responsibility for being the breadwinner?
What if you owned that?
“I earn all the money and I love that responsibility”
“I support my family – I am the best one for the job”
“Who better than me for this role”
Do it because it makes you proud
Do it because you chose to do it
Do it because there is no one better than you to do it right now
Generate pride and confidence.
So much better than appreciation!
Appreciation does not mean you enjoy the journey – you can be appreciated and miserable in a role.
What I want is for you to feel a sense of pride and fulfilment in what you DO.
Focus on that.
Appreciation is a bonus that tends to come when we stop asking for it like it is owed to us – no-one owes us anything.