I want to be coached on my mind set regarding my weight. I am someone who was a lanky child, very sporty and played lots of competitions. I was fit and generally could eat whatever i wanted and I did not spend a lot of time thinking about food. However, when I was at uni I put on a little weight (probably due to decreased exercise levels, hormones etc) and then freaked out. A well meaning auntie started me on a ‘diet’, which I failed and then started the controlling, bingeing, emotional eating. Since this time my weight has fluctuated by 25 kilos up and down (have had 2 pregnancies, a back injury last year). I am now classed as ‘overweight’ for the first time in my life. The scariest thing is when I thought I was ‘fat’ I was actually in the healthy weight range! I never saw this, I always felt less than, unworthy and unattractive.
In my family, image, particularly physical looks, are very important and I have grown up with a perfectionist, controlling, nasty mother. My family have voiced over the years views on weight.
I feel disgusting, embarrassed and horrible. I feel shame for how I look and how I have let myself ‘go’ and then I feel shame for having such a first world problem. Then I feel worried that I actually do have to lose weight for health now not just vanity.
I get frustrated and overwhelmed by the enormity of the task I face to lose 15 kilos and then feel that i can’t do it. I also feel very insecure, jealous and unworthy when I see friends, colleagues and strangers whom look fit and slim.
I get frustrated when I get slow results if I start a regime. I also feel frustrated by the limitations I need to make to my eating. I am fearful that my daughter will have the same poor relationship with food that I have inherited from my mother and grandmother. I am fearful that if I don’t lose weight I will create health issues and also my back could be assisted by losing weight.
I feel like I just can’t stick to a plan, why can’t I just do it?
What change do I desire? Lose 15 kilograms, be able to wear my wardrobe (any of it!), feel fit and toned not wobbly and fat
Challenge- self belief, emotional and binge eating, mindset
Pressure- I feel pressure to lose weight for health, pressure to get it right