I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the content of the YLD program so far. I’ve found January a bit of a hard month to get into a solid routine with the kids on holidays and spending quite a lot of that time floating between home and the beach. It’s given me a lot of time to read and reflect and I’m now feeling reasonably well rested and ready to face head on a few issues I’ve been really struggling with for quite a while.
In particular, my work. I feel very fortunate to do the work I do. It can be very rewarding both personally and financially, but I have moments (quite a lot if I am honest) where I think there has to be more to life than this! I look around and all I see are a lot of unhappy and stressed individuals (myself included). Even some at the top of the tree seem bored or have dysfunctional lifestyles. I feel like I need to jump off the sinking ship before it’s too late and I end up as one of them: over-working, over-drinking and completely unhappy. Whilst I love helping people with their problems, I feel like a fish out of water. Putting a suit on and going to work feels like I’m putting on a mask most days. And, that feeling towards work impacts on every other aspect of my life. I can feel a change coming, I just don’t know where to from here yet.
So, I’ve given myself 12 months to work out what where my life path is going. This year I’ve decided I am not going to complain about my work. It is what it is and it is where I am at for the moment. In that time I want to focus my energy on getting into tip top shape mentally and physically, getting rid of the non-essentials and only spending time on relationships that have meaning. I’m hoping this will put me in the right place to see opportunities outside of my work that are a proper fit with who I am.
Hence why I am enrolled in the program. If you think there is anything that might assist, whether it be books, other podcasts etc, I’d love to hear from you.
On your recommendation I read the book Do The Work. My gosh, that hit the spot! I came to realise how much I have been resisting the things I need to do the most. This quote said it all to me: “The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”
Looking forward to getting into the February content.
Jan has been a back and forth between family and work for many of us so you are not alone with the 1st Feb all in attitude.
I understand that in your area of work there are some unique challenges in the nature of the work you do and the emotional aspect to it as well as a culture of drinking and general lifestyle practices that seem more extreme in these circles.
The putting on a mask every day brought me back to that same feeling when I was working as a criminal lawyer where there is perhaps a more particular culture of drinking and overworking/stress. Although this is also subjective – all jobs can be stressful and appear this way at times – depending on how we view them.
But some of the unique issues of a particular procession can’t be ignored.
Reflecting back on my move from law to coaching I now realise what I didn’t know at the time – is that there is always a ‘shit storm’. Excuse my language! But there really is. There is always something that is stressful, hard, challenging, pushing and pulling us.
I think in terms of all of us, when we are in high school we have puberty/pimple problems. Then when we are at uni and we have poor student problems, we are new on the scene/have grad roles in a business and we have work/colleagues/stuck in a box all day working long hours challenges, when we are at home with kids and we have ‘they are driving me nuts’ challenges – around it goes.
So in short – I like to remind myself that the grass is different over there – but not better.
What we get to do is pick our challenges.
Taking 12 months to not complain but to look for what changes you want to make (not because they will mean life is all rainbows) but because perhaps you have changed and want different problems right now is such an opportunity.
I suggest you fill a page with all the questions you have right now:
What do I want to do?
What could I do?
What do I love about the profession I am in now?
What do I dislike?
What am I thinking right now about my work. (list them all out uncensored)
Do I want to be thinking these thoughts?
What interests me?
What questions do I need to answer about these other options I have?
What opportunities do I have within the job I have now that I have been blind to?
If I could do anything what would it be?
What is not negotiable?
What is the best way I can help people?
If I wasn’t telling myself that my years as a lawyer are wasted if I leave, what would I do?
If I wasn’t scared what would I do?
Then schedule time to actually dive into all your options and ideas and develop them. See it as a project, you are designing it, get curious.
Scheduling time and specific questions to answer is important – this creates some momentum and develops the idea.
There are lots of options I am sure. When you can’t decide, tell yourself that all of them will be a raging success, which one do I pick if I am guaranteed of this?
How good is Steven Pressifleds work! So so good.
Other books I can suggest –
Pema Chodrin ‘Comfortable with Uncertainty’
Stephen Cope ‘The Great Work of Your Life’
The Good Life Project has some good episodes
Pivot with jenny Blake
The Happy Lawyer (I haven’t listened to it in ages but remember it was good) for those lawyers inside the program
And this video is very relevant right now I suspect. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHnIJeE3LAI
(just a warning – will likely cause tears)
You get to make all of the decisions this year.
You get to own them.
I don’t know what is right for you or anyone other than myself.
I don’t have all the answers – but I have some good questions that I know can help.
Thanks for your comments and questions and please post back here as and when you need.