I’ve had a hectic few weeks & some days I feel like I’m just trying to keep my head above water so to speak.
I returned from my Tasmanian trip in the last week of January & it took me a few days to get back in some sort of routine. I had routine & intention on holiday but it was a different sort & it was only me so I didn’t have to worry about anyone else. I had such a fantastic time.
I scheduled in all of the workbooks, podcasts & daily journals while I was away as I’m determined to give this my 100% this year as I focus on me. I struggled with some of the topics as there were questions in which I had no idea
Who do I want to be?
What do I want to do or love to do?
Reality is I don’t know where to from here as I’m unsure what I love to do anymore as I’ve always made sure everyone else was ok & looked after that I’ve forgotten what interests me. Is that normal to not know?
I have some goals & know what needs attention in my life but it seems like what needs fixing or being made a priority I’ve made my goals ie my health, relationships & how to better manage money.
I do know that I will be concentrating & making my Health my major goal this year.
When I returned home I continued to do the workbooks etc but struggled to stay motivated as I had responsibilities at home that truthfully I was bored doing day after day. My holidays sure did open up a lot of emotions of things I haven’t achieved over the years while I looked after everyone. It’s not that I regretted doing it but now they’re all Adults & still at home( Age 25, 23 & 21. One son who was 25 moved out before Xmas) I’m finding the tasks mundane & sick of being responsible for it all. I went back to work at the end of January & it seems that the days just blend into 1 again as I’m exhausted all the time. My Rhuematoid has been worst the last 6 months.
I’ve still continued to do all of your work though except for the first few days of February. My son’s girlfriend lost her Dad unexpectedly at the age of 54 & it hit me pretty hard. It made me realise that we can die at anytime & that I still haven’t worked out what I want to do yet.Unfortunately I did numb out for a few days & didn’t complete the daily journals & have struggled with the Success part of week 1 mainly:
How do I want to grow?
What is the potential you see inside yourself?
What do you want to use your skills & talents for in a way that is of value?
I’m not sure what I have to offer the world or what I want to do?
I’m sorry for the long email but I feel if I can’t answer these questions then I may struggle with certain other topics if they are related to these.
Loving your program so far.
First and foremost – you are not behind and you have all the answers you need.
Do not overthink the questions – free write what comes up – if your mind says I don’t know write that down, then ask yourself, what would the answer be if I did know? Just look inside.
I have read your email a number of times and want you to know that a lot of other students in the program feel the same – uncertain, bored with the repeat nature of their days, wanting change, not sure what or how.
I want you to know that these comments below come from a place of love and deep respect – I am never going to tell you are stuck or unable to take control of your life – because that is not just something well meaning friends do – it is 100% wrong.
You can never move forward until you accept your past –
You were living the life you wanted to live then.
It was the best you knew.
It was meant to be that way
There is no upside to regret.
You have to see that the past was exactly what it was meant to be – because there is no other way to look at it – and then really be intentional about focusing your energy in how you want to live right NOW.
You are the source of the boredom and resentment you feel right now.
You not them (family).
You create your feelings.
You do this with how you are thinkink about your life.
Read back over your email and see how negative your thinking is.
This is ok, it doesn’t make you terrible or broken, its just your brain wanting to tell you all the reasons why you cant change – your brain wants to keep you safe (where you are right now) because change is scary. So even though you are not happy with how your life is right now – it is what your brain knows as familiar – so it keeps you there when you don’t manage it.
This is the best news. Because if your family / past / circumstances were to blame for how you feel – we couldn’t change anything without them changing.
You decide if you feel behind in the work
You decide if you don’t know the answers to the questions
You decide if you feel resentment, frustration, boredom, regret
You are right where you are meant to be.
You can create any future you want .
But you have to accept the past as it was and get back to where you are now.
You need to use your mental energy to create beliefs that will move you towards healthier future.
Who do you want to be? You say you don’t know the answer to this question – I believe this is your brain keeping you safe and where you are now – when we say ‘I don’t know’, or ‘I am no sure’ it’s a great excuse to not take action.
What if you did know the answer??
Read back over your message to me.
You told me what you want right now.
Health, better relationships with others and money.
Describe what that looks like – if you imagine Nancy healthy, vibrant, at her optimal weight, pain managed well, connected and engaged with others, in control of her finances – describe that person, describe how you look, feel, think?
How do you wife, parent, work, eat, sleep, move, breathe, stand, walk, talk?
What are the goals?
What needs attention?
This month I have asked you to pick one – you did – HEALTH
This is brilliant as I believe it is the foundation of everything.
So now you have to manage your mind.
Because as long as you say – I don’t know, im overwhelmed, im bored, my family expects too much of me, I don’t have time, this is hard…you avoid taking action.
It feels horrible bveing stuck and bored and overwhelmed….but that is also the EASY option.
Because as soon as you drop those excuses, you have no reason not to take action. To double down.
You are responsible for how you treat your body and mind.
You didn’t maintain motivation because of how you were thinking
– I’m bored
– I regret the past
– this is mundane
– I’m sick of all this responsibility
This is the cause of your exhaustion and pain and feeling of being stuck.
You chose to numb out .
That is ok.
We all do at times.
It doesn’t make you broken, bad or less than others – it makes you HUMAN.
But please own it, learn from it, and move forward.
How do you want to grow – what is the potential? The potential is that vision you have glimpsed of Nancy healthy and free from this negative thinking spin.
Focus on health.
Now get very clear.
Please do not shy away from being specific.
It feels scary but it is necessary.
How do you want your health to be?
Weight to be?
Energy to be?
Sleep to be?
Mental health to be?
Pain to be?
Be specific and detailed.
You are going to fear failing – not meeting the goals – but that fear is an illusion. The real thing you should fear is taking NO action and being where you are right now tomorrow.
How does Nancy who is healthy and vibrant and not numbing out show up?
Make that your gift to the world and yourself.
This is where you want to grow my friend.
Stop procrastinating .
You have got this and I have your back all the way there.
You have everything you need to do this.
Don’t allow yourself to say I don’t know.
So so much love to you.
Post back here to let me know how you are going and I recommend you come on to be coached live this month with me so we can work on this more.
You committed to 2018 being the year of you – that is scary because you have never done this, you have always put yourself first – you wont feel confident – but that is fine, confidence is not necessary – what is necessary is that you start to take action, every day, out of the cave one foot in front of the other.