It has taken me a long time to work through my need to exit my business as I did have a lot of joy setting it up and developing new things and worked really hard. I just ended up with one of my business partners who went from drama to drama, projecting a lot onto me while the other partners watched and didn’t want to intervene in case they became the object to target. I handled it very maturely over many years but the company went through cultural reviews, board reviews a new chair a new CEO and a new director. 80% of the time with staff and most colleagues everything was fine but we just couldn’t bring new good people into the unit ( as they were threatening) and every now and then there just seems to have to be a big dramatic problems that sent us all into chaos. At the end of the day and after reading a great book called the courage to be disliked I decided that all the hassle of trying to maintain my cool and be a role model wasn’t worth it when I was perpetually dragged into things that I really hadn’t contributed to mainly due to a professional jealously issue. I decided to leave and put in my resignation, which of course caused a huge drama that luckily I had planned leave around. Unfortuneately now I have finally made the decision, the partners realise my leaving will affect the bottom line of the business and want to force me to stay but in a very controlling and threatening way. I understand why they are doing this but just want to go and their behaviour makes we want to go more. I can’t serve my patients without seeing out a restraint and am able to work form another private practice with a lot of the staff in my business who are all really supportive and understanding. The issue is that I get alternating really threatening emails then really luring we will give you all this if you stay emails followed by you will never be able to do this alone emails, that seem to try and target every fear and weakness I have. Luckily I have many other people outside the business who are supporting me and a saint of a husband and family and I can stay offsite. However I find it really hard to manage with this really erratic communication especially when it affects my patients ( they were all told I was going out of state for a while to encourage them to change doctors!). How can I manage the time I am going to be forced to see out and not rage, blame be unprofessional or get vengeful, while I feel massively manipulated and just want to be free. I also have to protect my patients from all of this which is hard to do. Louise
It is so good that you understand intellectually that they don’t make you feel anything – you do that.
But in reality you think this situation is different – more challenging perhaps than every day – but it doesn’t change the universal truth that you create every feeling you have inside your body.
You want to go.
You want to be free.
No one can stop you or force you to stay.
They can rage at you.
They can try and punish you.
They can try and entice you to stay.
You decide if what they do is punishment, is painful, is tricky.
I don’t deny that what they do can impact you financially, can impact on what others are told about you etc.
But you have zero control over what they do.
Focusing on it, thinking about it, ruminating about it is of no use and it will exhaust you.
Your mind is making it ‘tricky’.
You are deciding they are targeting your fears and weaknesses…you can also decide that they are making you stronger, more clear of what is right for you.
You want to be free.
You see free as a result – an outcome – which it can be.
But I suggest for now you make it a feeling that is available to you today.
In this moment, while you are seeing out this time (please own that you are choosing to see out this time, in truth you could walk away today, you are deciding to stay because it is the right decision for you right now).
So – How do you need to be thinking if you want to feel free?
Really get clear on this.
In the circumstances as they are right now – what thoughts that are true to you generate a feeling of freedom?
I can leave at any time, I am choosing to see out this time.
I get to decide how I think about this.
They have no control over me – I decide how I show up every time.
I am professional, mature and 100% in control of how I live my life
I am not interested in how they act, I am interested in how I turn up, how I think, how I respond
The thoughts that it is tricky, controlling, threatening, drama, dramatic, manipulating….will never allow you to feel free.
They also make it very hard not to be reactive, blaming and unprofessional.
And please know you can feel pissed off too.
That is ok.
I know you want to be calm, kind and professional.
That is your nature.
You can be pissed too.
You are allowed to be.
Don’t push it down.
Just be careful to allow it to be there but not make decisions driven from that feeling.
They are the hot, angry, raging decisions we tend to regret.
And of course you can engage lawyers.
Look to sue, communicate with them so they are advised you will take action if they threaten or harass you – this is probably a good idea given it sounds like they are doing both of these things.
But I want you to not get drained and exhausted doing this from a place of rage and attachment.
They get to be crazy human beings.
You get to decide who you want to be.
I want you to decide what you do from a place of clean, clear, responsible thinking.
This isn’t easy work when life sends you storms.
Be careful to protect the asset (YOU). Sleep, move, breathe, eat, connect with those you live, give yourself lots and lots of space to just be – protect your energy.
On the home page of the member site is the daily reflection and intention workbook.
I highly recommend you do this every evening – it’s a few min – it is very good to help you clean up thinking and manage your mind in times when you are being pushed and pulled by life more than usual.
This is happening for you, not to you.
You are never a victim of your circumstances unless you decide to be.
You have got this and I am right here to help you come through this proud, clear and free.
xx