So its V day and like every year since getting married I spend it frustrated, pissed off, and grumpy. I woke up and there it was. We have been together for 11 years and my husband says he doesn’t believe in valentines day and that he shows his love every day. The thing is he doest…he never gives me gifts (not b day or Christmas either), he never says I love you, he never takes me out for dinner. This thinking comes up every V day. Throughout the year I am fine, it doesn’t bother me, I feel good about our marriage we are a team, I dont need gifts, I feel secure and loved in how he shows up for me, our kids, in what he does at home/in his business etc…but this one day of the year, its like I my mind goes wild.
I dont want to spend tonight in a rage (every year since I can remember that is what happens – I start grumpy and by the end of the day I pick a fight).
Any insight appreciated.
You are causing yourself to feel these emotions.
You have decide that what your husband doesn’t do on V day means something (? that he doesn’t love you on this day) and that belief is what is making you frustrated and grumpy.
This is ok.
You can feel grumpy.
But you dont have to pick a fight – you can just allow yourself to feel grumpy.
Have you done this?
Just sit with it today – notice your thoughts – then ask yourself.
Who would I be if it didn’t have these thoughts?
Does it make sense to be so angry with hubby when he hasn’t caused me to feel grumpy?
Who do you want to be THIS Valentines day in your marriage?
You may decide that this year you want to let go of the thinking that your husband should be anyone other than who he is, and just decide to love him.
You have got this one.
Decide who you want to be today – then go be that version of Lauren. xx