Hi Laura,
I am 2 weeks in to a contract position at a corporate firm, having graduated at the end of last year. I was sceptical about going into the corporate world, having a history of difficult work relationships but having broached it with yourself and others I decided that it was the best thing for my career…so in I jumped!
Prior to starting, I did a heap of your work around intentions and mindset, as well as daily over the first 2 weeks of my contract and I’m stoked to say, that I’ve just had the best 2 weeks of my life! My working relationships are strong, I have learned so much, they have offered me a permanent position which I didn’t even think was an option but best of all, I am proud of the person I have been over the last few weeks.
So that’s all fabulous and I thank you for your work! But I have also realised a few pretty confronting things about myself, which I have just been observing and not reacting to.
These are:
1. I’m a competitive psycho
2. I’m desperate to be recognised
That sounds dramatic but the feelings I have been observing are intense. “That was my idea!” “They didn’t say well done or thank you!”
3. I’m opinionated
It has taken real restraint not to give my opinion these last few weeks and I believe this has had a hugely positive effect on my time so far at the company.
I’m looking forward to your thoughts on all of this but in particular:
1. How do I contribute, without sounding opinionated/blunt?
2. How can I be more gracious day to day and willing to learn?
3. How do I manage competitiveness and ownership in the work place?
Lots of love x
It is fantastic you have had the best 2 weeks and pride in who you are showing up as is such a strong, empowering feeling.
The competitive, opinionated, clinging to recognition bit…is the other half.
There is always another half.
What I mean by this is that life is balanced – we don’t get to be perfect – there is no such thing.
What we get is new things to notice, take a look at and work through.
How do you feel when you think you are a competitive psycho, opinionated, desperate to be recognised?
You state this as a fact, as if it is your reality, but it is really just a thought. And the thinking is best categorised as scarcity thinking.
You believe that YOU are what you think.
You are not your mind my friend (the day I learnt this and really understood it, such a relief!!)
You ask:
How do I contribute, show up as gracious and manage competitiveness?
First, I want you to really think about this.
Can you have a point of view and not be blunt?
Can you lead others and be a student?
Can you be the author and not be attached to having your name on the front cover?
I remember reading about a US senator who wanted to introduce some law that would be a great benefit to working women – I think it was around the pay gap – she had someone else (a man) introduce it, it was passed, his name was on the bill, not hers, she didn’t care, she just wanted the legislation to pass and she did what needed to be done to get that result.
What would you be thinking if you were to be someone who has value to add but is open to what others have to contribute too? If you were detached from the need for accolades? If you were always open to be wrong?
This is the work you need to do.
To be a team player who is strong, to be a leader who is open to being wrong, to be someone who gives tremendous value without expecting any awards.
You think that your ‘character’ is at odds with this. The only thing stopping you from showing up as you want to is your thinking and that my friend is in your control.
Take time each evening to decide how you, strong, team player, leader, always open (dare I say it, eager) to be wrong who gives without the need for neon lights…how do you think, how do you feel, how do you show up.
It is simple.
It isn’t easy.
It takes a commitment to do the work.
It is total worth it because this is how you grow.
Not to perfection, but to another level, a new version of yourself.
Rock star effort this last few months.
Super proud of you too!
This is a good issue to be coached live on if you want to dive into this some more on Thursday submit to be on for the call.
xx