Here is my issue for coaching call.
I have realised that all of my thoughts are generally about other people
How will they react
How will they see me
And a lot of blaming them
Never realised how much of my time I spent worrying about how others think till now!
I want to have a better relationship with my sister – my thoughts are all about how she compares to me, how I am not as successful, how she is responsible for me feeling low self esteem and like I have to pretend to be happier than I am around her
I want to feel authentic and real
I want to be able to tell her about my life without fear of what she thinks
I actually do think this, but when we see each other
What I feel is closed and trapped
I compare myself to her and I pretend my life is better than it is and try and impress her
I appreciate you coaching on this.
If none of us worried about what others thought we would all be going after our dreams. You are not alone here my friend.
Think about it – none of us are really scared of failure – its public failure that scares us. For you it is your sister thinking you are a failure.
That’s why we all fail on the spot (at the fridge door, pretending we are fulfilled, not telling anyone what we want or taking action toward getting it) instead of risking failing out there, we decide to fail ourselves right here.
Have to ask yourself:
Who are you scared of failing in front of? Your sister? Family?
What do you really want? Have a better relationship with sister?
Saying that you “want to feel authentic around sister”. How does that thought make you feel? ‘I want to be my authentic self around my sister’
I sense that you feel guilty about this, feel pressure when you think this.
What if you forget about the need to be authentic, just let the drama go and just lover her?
“I want to love my sister”
Just love her.
The need to be authentic makes it about drama.
The need to be authentic makes you at odds with her.
“I need to be authentic despite who she is”
“I need to be me despite her not accepting me”
“I need to be me despite her being better than me”
This is just drama.
What if you just love her
Who are you when you just love her? You will see what I mean when you stop and answer this question 🙂
Try that one out and drop the need to be in your power.
It will feel so much better.