Since joining YLD for the main reason that I wanted to learn how to manage my emotions as a mother I have found peace in motherhood – a peace I never new existed! I am able to catch myself before I rage, before I spiral into negative thinking and yelling at the kids which I am sorry to admit had become too often in late 2017. Now when a plate is broken when my 3 year old try’s to balance it to the sink I laugh and we clean up the mess, a year ago I would have at best scowled and begrudgingly cleaned it up, at worst yelled and said ‘why do you break things all the time??’
What I am struggling with is the memory of the times when I lost it and the scared and shocked look on my little boys face – and the guilt and shame.
Have I damaged him?
Have I made him scared of making mistakes?
What have I done??
Broken plates
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You were doing the best you could with what you had.
Now you have learnt a new way.
You didnt have these skills back then.
Now you do – and you are doing your best to implement the skills you now have.
Regret and guilt have no upside.
They feel necessary. They are not.
This regret and shame is not doing you or your little man any service whatsoever.
Refuse to indulge in them from this moment forward and get on with being the best version of yourself that you can be right now, with what you have.
Xxx