My husband told me on Sunday that he has spoken to lawyers and wants a divorce. We have 3 children and I am a stay at home mum. I knew this was coming, we have been disconnected for many years, but I am terrified about what is to come and how this may impact on the kids. I feel sad it is coming to an end but more than anything terrified – Where will I live? How will I support myself? What will I do? I dont know who I am outside of being a mum and wife. I haven’t worked for 7 years, I let go of my accreditation as a pharmacist and don’t want to return to pharmacy…where do I even begin? How can I be the school drop off / pick up mum, get a job, find a house, manage a divorce, survive this??
I know this is a very challenging time for you.
But you can survive this and you will.
I want you to get very very clear on how you want to feel as you move through this process?
Identify the emotions you want to use each day to work through each day.
Terrified is not one I advise you chose right now.
Then I want you to answer the questions you have asked me.
When your mind says I dont know, I want you to say to yourself – ‘if I did know, what would the answer be’.
How will you drop the kids off and pick them up each day and work?
What work could you do that would suit this?
Where would you live as a single mother with school aged children?
What work do you want to do?
Who do you need to talk to?
and the most important question of all –
What would your future self, you in 10 years time, say to you right now? What would her advice be to you right now?
And please – be gentle on yourself.
It is ok to feel scared – it is totally understandable – but in order to move forward you have to be willing to feel scared and then take action. Take responsibility for how you chose to think about your life right now, practice thinking in a way that helps you move forward.
You have got this my friend.
Life is full of shit storms, this is a big one and it will make you stronger if you let it.
So much love to you. Post back here for any more support as much as you need. xx