Is eating up my life! I spend so much time on it it is embarrassing. But I cant seem to stop. I have tried to not be on FB and Insta as much but then end up back on, scrolling away. It’s not just social but on the internet googling random things, sending SMS messages to friends just to say ‘hi’. I have realised I am not good at just being still/alone. I also do this to avoid work. How do I manage this without deleting my social accounts which I dont want to do?
Moderating something that is designed to be addictive is always going to be a challenge unless you decide ahead of time what you will give your attention to, when and for how long and deliberately practice this every day.
You have to first be willing to experience the discomfort of being alone and still that you feel without social media.
You have to decide that you are willing to feel this.
The way to do this is to identify what the desire is to not be controlled by social media.
What do you imagine your life being like when you are not on social as much? When you dont feel controlled by it?
How will you show up in your relationships? How will you feel? How will you spend your evenings instead? You need to connect with that desire to be that person who isn’t on their phone all the time.
Then I suggest you create a protocol for when you will be on your devices (don’t complicate this, pick a set time period every day e.g. 9am-9.30am or 4pm-4.30pm – this time is when you return calls, send messages, check social).
Then for the next 4 weeks follow the protocol – no matter what.
Its simple, its not easy, but if you want to moderate this thing that you feel trapped in, you have to decide ahead of time and be willing to feel the desire to break protocol and sit with that feeling without reacting.