I lost my shit at the kids today. Like seriously lost it. I yelled at them then I cried and told them they made me cry. I am a single mother, I have my own medical practice, I am busy and a lot of what I do is not negotiable. I have to pay the bills. I dont know where to find space for me on weekends and I sometimes resent that my ex gets to have the kids once a month for ONE day and I have to do the rest. It feels wrong, but I am sometimes jealous of his freedom.
Lost my shit
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You are a human being who sometimes looses their shit. This is totally OK.
Give them a cuddle.
Then start afresh right now on the spot.
Jealousy, resentment are no doubt justified. But there is the thing, we say we are justified in our resentment and ignore the fact that sure its justified, but it makes us feel like shit.
Right now you are choosing to have your kids all month bar one day. It is a choice. You think it is forced upon you because ‘he wont do it’ but it is always a choice. You can walk out the front door right now and leave. You choose not to. You choose not to based on your values, your priorities and who you are at your core.
You are a bad ass single mum who works, loves her kids, looses her shit occasionally and is doing the best she can with what she has right now.
You are doing an amazing job. Love on your kids but more importantly, love on yourself first my friend and own your life.
So So So much love. Xx