I am 37, married with 3 kids. Left home when i was 25 and have always had a strong relationship with my mother. I am her 2ned/youngest child and have always been the one she calls on when she needs anything done. My elder brother has a good relationship with her too – but he has always been more distant.
Since getting married the dynamic between myself, my mum and my wife has been good most of the time – they are not close, very different in personality, but kind and respectful to each other.
We have 3 kids, my wife works 2 days a week and had the main role with the home and kids. I work full time in my own business.
Dad passed away 3 years ago and mum is becoming increasingly in need of help with life generally.
She mentioned to me that she would like to move in with us rather than go into any sort of care or assisted living in the years to come.
I didnt know what to say.
There is no way we can do that – my children are still young, in primary school, my wife could not have my mum in the house full time, to be honest nor could I.
I feel terrible about this – like i am being selfish, unkind, disrespectful – and I haven’t even communicated this to her – or my wife (i am scared to tell her what mum said because i know it will make her worried too).
How do i go about this without hurting mums feelings or saying yes and seriously disrupting our family and possibly risking divorce – joking but also a bit serious – it would certainly put pressure on our marriage.