I started YLD in February as I was ready for some personal and professional development that reached beyond January / New Years Eve resolutions, feel good quotes on social media and the generic professional development my organisation provides to the executive that looks at how we work in isolation to the rest of our lives (so has very little impact!). I absolutely love this program and just wish organisations like mine supported staff in part of full to do this kind of work over the ‘workshops’ they run a few times a year that are more feel good than applicatble tools and strategies.
Ok to my point.
I didnt realise until starting this program and really looking at how I live my life that my drinking is something I need to focus on. I am not an alcoholic, I have a senior position in my organisation, work to a high standard and have good overall health. BUT I over drink, often. It is to avoid or numb stress, to socialise, to check out.
This month I have decided to focus on drinking. I have committed to no drinking at all and to noticing my thoughts everyday about this and writing them down in the daily reflection journal you suggested.
I have realised (I suspected this for a long time) that my marriage is largely connected by a few wines. We both work full time, the working week we are ‘ships in the night’ with our own roles, kids stuff etc. and on weekends for now over 15 years we have connected over wine, cheese, more wine.
My not drinking had me last weekend watching my husband drink quite a bit over the weekend thinking judgemental thoughts about him, feeling frustrated, bored, disconnected.
This is not what I imagined! I wanted to feel healthy, bright, engaged!
I am well rested, I am sleeping better, feeling lighter, clearer mind.
But I feel a bit lost in my marriage.
How do we connect on weekends when he is drinking and I am not?
This feels like total new territory and I am not sure who I am in this space.