Do you have any tips on how I can approach my 10 year old daughter in encouraging her to share with me her worries? We have a good relationship but I sense there is something going on and I want to give her permission to open up. I know that this may not be your area but from a coaching perspective any tips? Thank you!
So interesting you ask this as it is something I have been thinking about myself this week!
How to help others (kids and adults) know deeply that it is OK to feel hurt, to hurt others, to feel worried, to worry others, to feel angry, to project anger onto others.
That it is OK to be a HUMAN BEING!
We are not really taught this right?! We are taught to go to your room and come back when you can keep it together. We are told that we shouldnt ever hurt others, that we shouldnt ever be unkind. But we ALL are hurtful nad unkind and worrisome at times.
We are not really taught either that different is Ok, that its beautiful. Nor are we told that its normal to have a crazy lady in our heads, that we are all a little crazy in there at times.
I think the best thing we can do is to be honest, open and real – to tell our kids and friends and staff and everyone we encounter, that its all good, that its all part of being human.
What I would do is before bed talk to your daughter, share with her your experiences, ask her if she wants to share any sadness, any worry or shame that came up during the day. Tell her that she can always tell you, that you may not have the answers but that you can together work out possible solutions.
Help her empty her heart to you by creating a space and container for this, and (to the extent it’s appropriate) let her see that your heart has worries too, its all normal, and it’s important to let the worry out.
I hope this is of help xx