Sports day guilt

2018-11-06T18:22:18+00:00 6th November 2018|

Question:

Last week our school (my kids’ school) had its sports day.
We didnt go.
We being me, my partner and our kids who attend the school.
The story is a long one but to sum it up.
We attended last year for the first time.
It was confronting on a number of levels.
The food served by the school is, in my opinion, disgusting and unacceptable. Sausages, chips, soda. And having the only child who misses out because we do not eat this way was a challenge.
The parents attending who were yelling at their kids, being very involved, standing on the actual track to video their child etc was just crazy.
The competitive and aggressive nature of many of the other other kids, kids crying for coming last, or just not winning, etc etc.
Our daughters who are quiet kids, more academic, and not particularly sporty, were overwhelmed by the day and did not enjoy it, lots of tears.
This year my husband and I decided to not attend and to keep our kids home.
If I am honest it is predominately my decision and if the girls had been asked, I suspect on balance they would have gone along rather than be the only ones absent.
I feel relieved, but also guilty.
Have I robbed them of the opportunity to be part of a team, run their own race, win, loose, come 3rd, cry, laugh, be proud of themselves, or not…??

Laura's Answer:

  1. Test User
    Test User November 6, 2018 at 6:25 pm - Reply

    You ask me
    “Have I robbed them of the opportunity to be part of a team, run their own race, win, loose, come 3rd, cry, laugh, be proud of themselves, or not…??“

    On that particular day…you quite possibly did.

    Do you like your reasons for doing this? Don’t think about years to come, think about right now, at this point in time, you with the capacity you have, them with the capacity they have, do you like your reasons?

    If you do, good.
    If you dont, good.

    Learn from it.
    Then leave it and move on.

    Guilt is wasted.
    It eats at your self respect.

    You did what was right in the moment, on that day, last week. What was right for you and your family right now.

    Next year your decision may be the same, it may be different, it may not be yours to make for your girls.

    Get out of the past my friend, you have no business there.

    Hugs and love to you.

    There is no perfect mother, no perfect childhood, just do the best with what you have, learn from the past, stay in the present and move on.

    Xxx

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