From work to home

2018-12-05T10:52:16+00:00 5th December 2018|

Question:

I have noticed I do not manage the switch between work and home. I work fill time and am the primary breadwinner for our family. My husband is the primary caregiver for the kids and works 2 days a week from home in school hours. We have defined roles and this works well for us. I come home from work most evenings 6pm to an organised home where my husband has it under control. Kids are sometimes tired, its a busy and noisy time of day, but things are managed well. I have no issue with how he runs the show. What I do have an issue with is ME! I am often short, impatient, craving quiet after a long day in a fast paced, at times stressful job as a surgeon. I feel guilty because I get such little time during the week with the kids, but its like my tank is empty. Last night I was so short with my youngest. I want to change this, but how, I am so tired its like I dont have the energy to manage my mind at this time of day. Help!

Laura's Answer:

  1. Test User
    Test User December 5, 2018 at 10:58 am - Reply

    Transitions are hard for most of us. The switch from one ‘hat’ to another ‘hat’ and as we move throughout the day energy decreases so by 5pm your ability to manage emotion is lower.

    Answer these questions:
    Who do you want to be at home when you get home?
    How do you want to feel at home in the evenings?
    How do you want to engage with the kids and your partner?
    How do you want to feel as you walk through the front door?

    Then I encourage you to practice this each day.
    As you go throughout the day, moving from task to meeting to phone call etc. release and reset. What that looks like is this.
    You end a meeting, take a few seconds to mentally release that meeting and reset by priming for the next thing. It can be a deep breath, or saying to yourself, ‘Ok release that energy, now I am going to focus on this email and be energised by my work’ or something that works for you. The goal is to leave the energy from the meeting or email writing or phone call or conference behind not let it build up as you move from task to task.

    Then when you get home.
    Pause before you open that front door.
    Take deep breaths.
    Mentally relax your shoulders.
    Release the energy from the day.
    Let it all go.
    and tell yourself who you will be when you walk through that door.
    Remind yourself.
    Let the doorway be your switch that makes you release one hat and put on the next.

    That doesn’t mean you are not sometimes tired, sometimes short, sometimes not 100% on, but you will more able to show up as your best self, with the energy you do have.

    Release and reset can be life changing for people. I encourage you to do it this week. Post it note remind yourself on the car dash and computer screen. Let me know how you go. L

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