Most people don’t achieve their dreams because they are unwilling to risk failure.
Fear of failure is the number one issue my clients raise when it comes to why they don’t take action toward achieving their goals.
They say that they are afraid of failing and of what people will think of them.
This sounds reasonable.
But is it?
What does failure mean?
What exactly are you afraid of?
Are you afraid of looking back on your life and seeing that you never actually had a go?
That is what I am afraid of!
Our mind tells us that if we take that risk, we might end up on the street, destitute and alone.
Our mind likes to cataostrphise things, she loves drama!
Here it the thing about failure.
It is a fiction.
We have made it up.
We decide what it means when we don’t get the outcome we wanted.
We can make it mean we are a failure.
We can make it mean we are learning.
We can make it mean we have more to do.
We can make it mean the world has come to an end.
We can make it mean anything we want.
Failure and learning are close cousins.
Why is it that as adults we are less and less willing to fail? Less and less willing to have a go, learn, fall over, get back up, try again?
Here is an example of what I mean.
One athlete approaches the year willing to make mistakes, expecting to not be perfect, always looking for ways to improve.
Another athlete is a perfectionist who is terrified of not being good enough, of feeling disappointed, of not winning.
The first views failure as an opportunity to grow.
The other sees failure as a sign of worthiness.
Who do you think sets higher goals and will go on to create an exceptional life and career?
Think about your relationships, business, career, health and learning.
Do you set high expectations and approach them willing to not be perfect, and always looking for opportunities to learn and grow?
It is a simple shift.
With massive impact.
Try it on.
You won’t regret it.
What would you be doing with your life if you were willing to fall over, learn, get back up again and grow?
Many of us have been sold the idea that life should be rainbows, happiness and ease.
Yet it isn’t.
But because we believe life should be something other than what it is, we feel like there is something wrong with us.
Do you relate?
We think we should feel happy all the time and that when we don’t feel happy there is something ‘wrong’.
We look for this happiness in a job, a marriage, a house, car, holiday, bank balance, bottle of wine, in the fridge, somewhere out there! I did this for years, and years. I know I am not the only one.
We have created for ourselves a fiction – a story – that life is meant to be all rainbows and unicorns.
This story is what keeps so many of us stuck.
We picked the wrong universe if ease and happiness is all that we are after.
Living this way means you never honour your dreams. Because dreams require something of us, they test us, they call us to show up, fail, get up and go again. To learn. To grow. To evolve.
What if from this moment on you decided that happiness was not the ultimate aim?
You can write a new story, and make it about having a fulfilled life. One where you get your hands dirty, take risks and go to bed each night having truly lived life that day and every day.
To feel fulfilled, to feel like there is purpose to this life you have, to create the life you really want for yourself – requires a willingness to feel the discomfort that comes with any dream – and to do the work anyway.
You have got this.
Let’s get to work.
Are you ready to do the work in 2018? Don’t wait until January to decide, start the year strong, focused and clear on where you want to be taking your life. Your Life Designed…you know where to find us xx
You can learn more about YLD here: https://lauracarrocci.com/join/
Self care is a practice of being conscious and responsible for how you choose to live your life.
It requires you to put first on your to-do-list, your physical and mental health, your closest relationships and the work you do in the world, what you create, how you serve.
Self care means you are willing to sacrifice the non essential in order to make room for what really matters.
Right now many of you are rushed and racing to the end of the year.
You have a lot on your plate.
But you get to decide if you end the year in a manic race to the finish line OR clear, confident and ready to take it to the next level in 2018.
My version of self care will help you achieve the latter.
But it requires you to do the work.
It requires you to:
1. Make your physical and mental health your number one priority, no excuses.
2. Take time to be preset and engaged in your closest relationships.
3. Do the work matters most, not the busy work, the work that generates the most value.
4. Be willing to sacrifice the non-essential.
Indifference to yourself and what matters most is the worst form of neglect.
Don’t go unconscious and waste the next 45 days.
Double down and end the year clear, focused and energised.
If you want to take it to the next level in 2018 and take this work and action it in your life you have to check out Your Life Designed. It is my monthly personal development and high performance coaching program.
The wait list closes on 24 November so head over to https://lauracarrocci.com/enrolinyourlifedesigned/ and register.
Wanting to step it up and go one bigger, but concerned it will be at the expense of your relationships and health?
We all know people who have achieved great success in one area of life, only to have neglected and damaged other areas.
It can seem like it is impossible to get the formula right. But it isn’t.
We can all design a life where we have optimal wellbeing and perform at a high level in all areas of life, professional and personal.
But it doesn’t just happen.
It requires intention.
It requires design.
It requires focus and commitment.
Learning how to focus your attention and manage your energy is one of the most important skills you can develop when it comes to your overall performance and wellbeing.
Here are some practical tools for how you can generate focus and be more productive in your life.
1. BE CLEAR ON YOUR MISSION
Your mission is the work that you do, what you do with you days, what you create, what you give.
Where are you going with this mission firmly in your hand?
What is your aim?
It doesn’t have to be some lofty purpose.
Maybe it is to be a positive role model to your kids, or to inspire your team.
Maybe it is to care for others with love and kindness.
Just take a moment to consider:
What do you want in your work life?
What do you want next year to be about?
What do you want this week to be about?
Do you know where you are going?
Because without aim, without intentional goals, we are bumping around in the dark, aimless, easily distracted, with no focus and no direction.
Get clear on what your mission is in the work that you do, in how you serve.
2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Taking responsibility for your relationships is a game changer.
When was the last time you thought about who you want to be in your relationships?
Not what you want from others.
But who you want to be?
Who you choose to be?
How you decide to turn up?
Consider for a moment a relationship that has been troubling you.
How intentional are you about who YOU are in that relationship?
How do you show them affection? Kindness? Gratitude? Understanding? Respect?
Do you manage your emotions toward them or do you make them responsible for how you feel?
When we are intentional about our relationships and how we want to turn up we focus our mind and energy on what we can control…ourselves.
This gives us focus and direction and also protects our energy, because we all drain a lot of energy every single day focused on how we want others to be, something we have no control over whatsoever.
3. MANAGE YOUR MIND
Taking responsibility for your mind is the single most important thing you can do in your life bar none.
Consider for a moment, do you intentionally take care of your mind like you do for the other parts of your body?
Do you keep it clean, neat, healthy and fresh?
I thought so.
You are not alone!
None of us are taught how to do this.
To clean up, clean out, manage and direct our mind.
So many of my clients spend a huge amount of their energy on thoughts and emotions that are reactive and un-managed.
Where are you giving your attention? Each day?
Are you present? Engaged? Focused?
Are you experiencing your life? Or are you always one step ahead, racing.
What are you focusing on?
Are you being driven by the lives of others?
Is your attention on your life or other peoples? On social media?
Do you manage your mind or do you indulge in procrastination?
Consider what this does to your focus and energy?
When we manage our mind and what we give our thoughts to we direct it, keep it on task and we have more energy for what really matters.
4. PROTECT YOUR ENERGY
What feelings are you bringing to your days?
What is your attitude?
Are you ready to go, choosing to smile?
Or are you bringing an attitude of negativity, stress, judgement, gossip and lack?
You know those people who are fixed and closed and negative?
You also know those people who are open, excited and energised?
Who do you want to be?
You can generate good energy, it’s a choice.
5. LIMIT DISTRACTION
What distracts you?
The apps that beep at you
You are the adult.
You get to decide when where and how you engage with all of it.
Make sure it is when you want to.
Because unconscious distraction and procrastination is not self-care, it is neglect and indifference to yourself and to what matters most.
It zapps you of your energy.
It robs you of your dreams.
If you want to move forward and achieve your goals faster you must master the art of focus and managing your energy.
You get to decide if you want to spend your life in distraction, procrastination and multi-tasking or if you want to focus on what is important.
Manage your mind.
Get it done.
Protect your energy.
And be intentional about your focus, your actions, your life.
You can choose to thrive.
P.S: This week on the podcast I teach you how to generate focus, be more productive and maintain your energy. You can listen in here.
I also have created this FREE guide which steps you through my approach for achieving and maintaining focus, energy and productivity. You can download it here.
If you want to make a difference, if you want to take it to the next level, reasonable, logical, safe thinking will not get you there.
When it comes to your personal development and potential if you want to reach your dreams, if you want to serve others and create value in the world you MUST look at where you are limiting yourself.
I don’t deny we all have different circumstances, different starting points, different challenges. But the choice always remains, will those circumstances be the reason you just in survive this life, or will they be the reason you thrive?
How do you choose to view your circumstances?
What are the thoughts you have over and over again that are not serving you, that make you a victim of your life?
Self-enquiry is a game changer when it comes to high performance and optimal wellbeing.
What do you believe about your potential?
Do you list off all the rules and reasons why you can’t create the life you desire?
Do you feel like there are rules and barriers caging you to a life you feel limited to?
Do you tell yourself you are being realistic when you choose to stay safe and stuck?
Anyone who has dreamed big, who has had an idea for something new, had to think from a mindset of opportunity and possibility.
If you want to do something you haven’t done before, reasonable, logical, safe thinking will not get you there.
When you look back on your life what do you want to be proud of?
What do you want to have created?
What is the contribution you want to have made?
How can your match your beliefs, your thinking, to that vision?
What would you be doing today if you believed in yourself?
If you do one thing today
Let it be this.
Decide to have an unreasonable and un-wavering belief in your possibility and the idea that your dreams are possible.
Take responsibility and create the life you want.
So much love to you my friends.
PS: Listen into this weeks’ podcast on ‘How to Believe in Yourself’. I share a very real and raw story of a former client who had more going against him that most of us can imagine… if he could see the potential and possibility inside, you can too!
Also I will be live on Facebook to chat about this week’s podcast Thursday 2 November 7.30pm ACST see link to page here: Facebook
And if you are not on the Your Life Designed wait list…you should be! I an blown away with the interest before enrolment even opens – so many of you are ready to take life to the next level in your businesses, careers and wellbeing in 2018, makes me very excited!! Register here: Wait List
Life can feel very full at times.
All the things we said yes to.
Many of them today we are not sure why.
We clean out our houses and prune our gardens, but when it comes to our lives, we tend to keep all of it.
Our lives are full of people, commitments, events, tasks, entertainment, work, being everything to everyone, never having enough time.
No space for what we love.
No time to dream about the future.
No room for what is great to grown and flourish.
Re deciding what is right for you and letting go of what is no longer right.
Is not easy.
It takes courage to decide that a relationship has concluded, that a job is no longer right, that the committee is no longer relevant to you anymore.
But we must have the courage to seek out what is right for us, right now, and leave what is wrong if we want to design a life that is our own.
The alternative is to keep saying yes, to never let anything go, to deny what is right and to wake up in someone else’s perfect life.
Quitting what is wrong is not the same as quitting what is hard.
Building your dream business is challenging.
Investing in your marriage is at times hard.
Raising your kids can be exhausting.
Going to the gym often hurts.
Most of these ‘hard’ things are also ‘right’. They problems we would choose, every time.
But what about the problems you don’t want?
The ones that are no longer serving you?
The ones that you have no desire to overcome?
What are you holding onto that you know you must let go of?
That you have just been too scared, or too busy and distracted to admit to?
Holding onto resentment and anger for things that have happened in the past?
Continuing habits that you know are holding you back in your life?
Maintaining friendships that are not right any more?
Continuing in a job or role that you have been disconnected from for some time?
Holding onto a business that is just not right, that you have lost all passion for?
Quitting is scary.
Saying ‘this isn’t right for me’ takes courage.
But the alternative is to delude yourself, fake it, pretend, say yes but scream no on the inside and waste more years, time and energy investing in a life that is not yours.
Quit what is wrong.
Open up the space you need to able to focus on what matters most. On what is right.
Don’t skim the surface of life any more.
Make space to go deep.
To make it count.
So much love to you my friends.
This week on the podcast I am talking all about Quitting so if this struck a chord for you be sure to listen in!
PS. Many of you have wait listed for YLD 2018. So glad to have you onboard! If you are considering enrolling I recommend you put your name down so you have the first opportunity to enrol for January. If you want to invest in your own personal development (its the best investment you will ever make) and learn how to consistently perform at a high level in all areas of your life with optimal wellbeing, you will be in good company in 2018!