Articles 2017-12-21T20:25:19+00:00

ARTICLES

309, 2017

How to say No

3rd September 2017|

So lets be honest, people pleasing is lying, usually wrapped up with a smile on top.

If we are people pleasing it means we don’t have a plan for how we spend our time, or if we do, we don’t honour it.

People pleasing is one of the quickest ways to feel overwhelmed, resentful and stuck.

It poisons our future and our relationships.

You have probably heard the advice, ‘learn to say no’.

Very few people back that up by telling us how.

Here is what I have come to learn.

Here is the secret to learning how to say ‘No’.

  1. Know what you want. What is the future you want to create?
  2. Have a specific goal that will move you toward that future.
  3. Make a plan for how you are going to get it.
  4. Schedule your time like a ninja. Every day, plan it.
  5. Honour the plan. Do not deviate from it. Do not stand yourself up, ever.

When someone asks you, ‘hey can you do this for me?’

Or

When you are tempted by something else, a new opportunity, or just the desire to take a nap.

If it doesn’t fit in your schedule.

Say, ‘No’.

No excuses.

No lies.

Just say, ‘No’.

Maybe it’s no, not now.

Maybe it’s no, not ever.

What is important is that you treat yourself and others with the honesty and integrity you value so highly.

When we stop lying to ourselves and others there is sometimes an initial shock, especially if you have been people pleasing for decades.

But soon after that comes trust.

You can trust yourself to do what you promise yourself you will do.

Others can trust you, they know you don’t pretend, you don’t lie, that they can rely on you to be honest and always turn up for them and give 100% when you can.

Do one thing today, say yes to your dreams by committing to act with 100% integrity in everything you do.

So much love for you all.

x Laura

We all need support to achieve what we want.

I believe we all need a life coach!

Coaching is the best form of personal and professional development for high functioning individuals.

It gives you insight and perspective that you could never get from being inside your own head, on the field of your life.

You want to feel better.

You want to stop being so busy and start creating value in your life.

You want to feel empowered.

You want the fun, happy you back.

You are done with being overwhelmed and exhausted all the time.

You want to grow, to move forward in life.

You want to manage your emotions better.

You want to manage your time and money better.

You want to stop numbing out.

You want to grow into your potential.

You are amazing, you have infinite potential and possibility!

You are done with a life on repeat, of each day being the same as the last.

You are ready for action.

You need a life coach.

I can be that coach J

I specialise in coaching people to better manage their emotions, stop buffering and start living the life they desire.

I cannot help everyone. I can only help those who are ready for change.

If you are sick of a life on repeat, if you want to grow into your potential, if you are ready to start truly living this life you have, come coach with me.

Your Life Designed is my monthly coaching program.

It will transform your life, I guarantee it.

One powerful group of people, designing the life they desire.

Register you’re interested here.

Also make sure you like and follow The Collective Org: Life Coaching and Strategy with Laura Carrocci on Facebook to keep up to date on all the tips, tools and coaching posted over the months ahead.

3008, 2017

Feeling anxious much?

30th August 2017|

This week in the wilderness of my mind it was not pretty.

It was filled with anxiety.

It was there when I woke up and it hung around all day.

I took deep breaths.

I exercised.

I ate well.

I noticed my thoughts and tried to direct my mind.

Basically I took my own medicine.

The anxiety didn’t go away.

Sometimes it’s just like that.

Anxiety, overwhelm, worry.

Sometimes she settles in for the ride.

There was a time in my past where I thought there was something wrong with me for feeling these emotions.

My clients often come to coaching because they think this too.

They feel overwhelmed, rushed, lost and worry there is something wrong.

They think the solution is to quit their job or book an escape holiday.

They think the solution is to drink a bottle of wine, over exercise, over eat, numb out.

It isn’t. Trust me, I have tried them all!

Here is what I have come to know.

Life is not all unicorns, daisies and rainbows.

And that is totally Ok.

We all know this intellectually.

But we live as if life should be otherwise.

We spend our days resisting this reality.

We think that once we get a better handle on work, once the kids start school/leave home, once we get the promotion, go on holiday, get married, have the kid, get divorced, retire…life will be good, we will be happy, we will have arrived.

We are sold the idea that we are meant to feel happy all of the time.

We are told, ‘Go buy something, eat something, drink something and you will feel better.’

It never works.

Because we are not meant to feel good all of the time!

Sometimes you feel like shit.

Sometimes you feel anxious.

Sometimes you feel overwhelmed.

Sometimes you can turn it around with a deep breath and a thought reframe.

Sometimes you can’t.

What you always can manage is how you choose to Be.

You can hide in the cave, take a nap, drink a bottle of wine, eat a packet of tim tams, exercise for 4 hours a day, procrastinate on social media, shop online…

Or you can get out of the cave, be willing to feel crappy emotion and still turn up for yourself.

Here are my tips on how you can start to choose the latter and action it in your everyday life.

GET MINDFUL

Slow everything down.

This is not an emergency.

No mania.

Find time to slow the train down.

GET CONSCIOUS

Get conscious of your thoughts.

Get conscious of your feelings.

Get conscious of your actions.

Get off the field and into the grandstand.

Actually ‘watch’ your mind.

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT

Start to notice what you are thinking.

What are the sentences in your mind?

Notice the thought that is causing the feeling of fear, worry, anxiety.

CHOOSE YOUR THOUGHTS

You can’t often control the external world.

The deadline, the kids, the traffic, the to-do list are what they are.

What you can control is your thinking.

You are in control of what goes on inside.

What is a better thought?

Sometimes you can choose a thought that turns around how you are feeling.

Other times it’s just choosing a thought that is more neutral.

For me, this week, that was, ‘I am feeing anxious and that is totally Ok.’

BE GENTLE ON YOURSELF

When you take care of yourself emotionally everything changes.

When we avoid emotion by numbing out with food, alcohol, shopping, work, exercise etc. we increase overwhelm and decrease our self-esteem.

We feel helpless and unconscious.

Don’t let these behaviours pretend to be self-care. They are not.

Be gentle on yourself by getting clear on what really matters.

Ask yourself what are my priorities right now?

What is one thing you can do right now that will move me forward?

How can I treat myself with the honesty and integrity I give to others?

The wilderness is wild, but it is also where you are truly free.

If you are still reading this – know you are loved, you are worthy, you are infinite potential and possibility and you are exactly where you are meant to be. Be here now. Start where you are.

So much love to you all.

Laura

ps. If you haven’t already, you must check out my Your Life Designed Coaching Program for 2018! One powerful group of people designing the life they desire. If you feel the gap between where you are now and where you want to be this course will change your life. Whether you want to improve your relationships, get a handle on your mental and physical health, build your business or career, manage your emotions, and find time for what you really want in life or discover who you are and what you want for your future this program will help you plan and achieve your goals. With personal support and help from me. Join us, you won’t regret it! Register you’re interested here.

Photo credit: Kirsty Burns Photography

2308, 2017

Dance in the rain

23rd August 2017|

It’s raining.

Not just outside, but inside your life as well.

It always has been, and always will be.

You can decide how you want to feel about that.

Here’s my approach.

Laugh.

Smile.

See flowers not weeds.

Choose only love.

See only joy.

Get in the bath with the kids.

Jump.

Leap.

Be here now.

Be yourself.

Get out of the cave.

Be a peace warrior.

Dance in the rain.

It’s all in our thinking, and we have 100% control over that.

Rage at the rain, or dance in it?

Go on, get in the bath!

Happy dancing.

So much love.

Laura

ps. If you haven’t already, you must check out my Your Life Designed Coaching Program for 2018! One powerful group of people designing the life they desire. Get a handle on overwhelm, improve your emotional intelligence, manage your mind, emotions and time and start moving toward your potential and possibility. Join us, you wont regret it! Register your interested here.

Photo credit: Kirsty Burns Photography

1708, 2017

Good enough?

17th August 2017|

Trying to be good enough? Exhausted? Fighting a war inside your own head?

One of the biggest issues many of my clients face is the fear of not being enough, and not doing enough.

Of not fulfilling their potential.

Many people come to coaching when they feel overwhelmed and stressed. They are doing huge amounts of work each day, yet they fear they are not doing enough with their lives.

Are you one of these people?

You feel like you are not creating value in the world, yet you are doing a million things every day, busy all the time.

You worry that you should be doing more, yet you have no idea where you would fit ‘more’ in.

You sense that there is more in you to give, create and contribute to the world, untapped potential.

At times you feel frustrated, despondent maybe resentful that there seems to be no time in the day to give that potential, that possibility, any attention.

I understand.

You are juggling multiple roles and doing amazing things for yourself, your family and your community. The distinction between ‘working’ and ‘not working’ women is of little importance here.

You are doing a lot, and you do it well and you should feel proud of what you do.

What you do is purposeful, valuable and important.

However, that does NOT mean you should feel guilty for wanting more (or less), more or less time at work/home/community, a new career direction, wanting to be healthier, have more time for yourself, for exercise, to nurture a passion or interest, to invest in your own self development and potential.

What holds so many of us back is the fear that if we are honest about what we truly desire for our lives we will be seen as selfish and of course the fear that we will fail and everyone will laugh at us.
I know this fear well – we all do.

It yells at us, ‘Who do you think you are?’, ‘The kids will suffer‘, ‘You should just leave things as they are’, ‘You will never achieve that, ‘Don’t be so selfish’, ‘Get back in the cave, be happy with what you have, shut up and watch some Netflix.’

Allowing these thoughts run our life keeps us small (or for some of us big).

Are you exhausted, sad, losing sleep trying to keep up with all the things you tell yourself you have to do?
Do you compare yourself to other’s?

Do you act like everything is a top priority, everything is urgent?

Do you worry you are not doing enough with your life, that you are not fulfilling your potential?

Do you think asking for help, requesting assistance is a sign that you are not coping. Would you rather do it all alone than ask for help?

Are you living a life defined by what YOU see as happy, successful and well? Or someone else’s definition?

Are you honest with yourself and those closest to you about what you truly want?

Do you know what you want?

What your vision is for this life you have?

If you accept for a moment that you are enough.

You are good enough.

You are perfect as you are.

You don’t ‘need’ to be anything other than who you are.

Then what?

That is the million dollar question!

The best question.

The only question.

You are whole, you are good enough and there is nothing wrong with you…now you get to decide.

So…

What now?

So much love.

Laura

ps. If you haven’t already, you must check out my Your Life Designed Coaching Program for 2018! One powerful group of people designing the life they desire. Get a handle on overwhelm, improve your emotional intelligence, manage your mind, emotions and time and start moving toward your potential and possibility. Join us, you wont regret it! Register your interested here.

Photo credit: Kirsty Burns Photography

1008, 2017

High functioning perfectionist? a guide to feeling better.

10th August 2017|

Are you exhausted and overwhelmed?

A high functioning perfectionist?

Everything looks fine on the outside, but on the inside you are rushed, racing, wired, tired, overwhelmed and lost in the to-do-list?

Are those around you used to you doing everything?

Are people around you under functioning as a result of your over functioning?

Have you lost sight of what it is you actually want? Of why you choose to do what you do each day?

As a recovering over-functioning woman I understand, I really do!

Here are my 5 tips for feeling better.

One.

Commit to stop doing it all.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but I never said this work was easy!

Since women have emerged into the workforce they have been doing it all, at work and at home. Even if you are not in paid employment, given you are here, chances are you are doing a lot more than 99% of the population. This is not sustainable. This has to STOP.

Nothing terrible will happen if you do.

Fear of being judged, missing out and of failure have driven this obsession with doing it all.

But by continuing to over function you will most certainly succeed in making all of these fears a reality.

You are not doing anything well when you are over functioning. You barley scratch the surface.

You need to prioritise, determine what is essential and what is not for you?

Shift your focus to what matters most. What are your highest priorities?

Remind yourself that you were not made to do everything all the time. Seriously, this is not a failure, or a lack on your part, you are a human being not a machine!

Embrace help and empower others by giving them more responsibility.

Free yourself from guilt.

Say ‘no’ more often (in the coming weeks I will put out a guide on how to actually do this!)

Think about why you think you have to do it all? What causes this pursuit of perfection? Who do you need to be perfect for? How is this need to be perfect no longer serving you?

Two.

Deal with your fears.

Are you fearful that things will go wrong if you don’t control everything at home, work and in life?

If you are, chances are these fears are making you resentful and exhausted.

Look at your deepest fears and limiting beliefs.

What are they?

Write them down.

Take a good look at them and decide if they are thoughts you want to choose to keep having.

Do they create anything of value in your life? Are they driving you toward your goals or away from them?

Three.

Ask yourself, where is the joy?

Running around, being tired, exhausted and anxious, does not bring joy.

Are you present for your friends, kids, partner, colleagues, and community?

Are you always thinking of what is next?

Do you experience the now, the present moment, or are you always one step ahead?

What does happiness look like to you?

What do you need more of?

What needs to change?

Four.

Listen to your gut.

Is there a calling in you to create something?

To do something?

To learn, discover, uncover something?

What brings you alive?

What is your highest aspiration for yourself, in this life?

Five.

Get support.

We all need support to achieve what we want.

Who in your life can you speak to? What requests can you make of others?

Do you need further support outside of your current circle of family and friends?

Coaching is the best form of personal and professional development for high functioning individuals.

Do you need a coach?

I believe we all do!

Have a beautiful day..

So much love.

x Laura

Ps:

We all need support to achieve what we want.
I believe we all need a life coach!
Coaching is the best form of personal and professional development for high functioning individuals.
It gives you insight and perspective that you could never get from being inside your own head, on the field of your life.
You want to feel better.
You want to stop being so busy and start creating value in your life.
You want to feel empowered.
You want the fun, happy you back.
You are done with being overwhelmed and exhausted all the time.
You want to grow, to move forward in life.
You want to manage your emotions better.
You want to manage your time and money better.
You want to stop numbing out.
You want to grow into your potential.
You are amazing, you have infinite potential and possibility!
You are done with a life on repeat, of each day being the same as the last.
You are ready for action.
You need a life coach.
I can be that coach.
If you are sick of a life on repeat, if you want to grow into your potential, if you are ready to start truly living this life you have, come coach with me.
Your Life Designed is my monthly coaching program.
It will transform your life, I guarantee it.
One powerful group of women, designing the life they desire.
Register you’re interested here
Also make sure you like and follow The Collective Org: Life Coaching and Strategy with Laura Carrocci to keep up to date on all the tips, tools and coaching posted over the months ahead.

Photo credit: Kirsty Burns Photography

308, 2017

Love

3rd August 2017|

LOVE.

How you treat yourself is a reflection of your thoughts about yourself.

How do you treat yourself?

Do you give yourself any attention?

Do you judge yourself?

Do you focus on your bad habits or where you think you are lacking?

So many of my clients have lots of self-talk about what they, ‘should do’ or, ‘need to do’. They worry they are, ‘not good enough’, or ‘am I not spending enough time with kids’ or, ‘should I be contributing more’.

When spend so much time judging ourselves we have little energy left to love ourselves.

What if all that time spent judging yourself, arguing with yourself and putting yourself down was refocused on loving and encouraging yourself? What would that look like? Feel like?

It’s crazy when you think about it! We love and encourage our partners, friends, family, our kids. But we don’t do the same for ourselves.

How we treat our children is such a good example here. We love our children deeply, and it is from this place of love that we set boundaries, expectations and discipline. Because we love them we want them to grow and evolve, to explore and create. We want them to try, fail, learn and try again.

Then something happens. We grow up and instead of growing and developing ourselves from a place of love we try and do it from a place of judgement, fear and lack.

We think we are not enough the way we are. We think that we have to get that job, house, car, partner, kid, holiday and promotion in order to be complete, happy and fulfilled.

But what if we are enough the way we are? What if the whole point of growing and developing ourselves is because when you come from a place of love, when you truly love yourself, it is just natural to take care of yourself, nurture and nourish your body and mind, learn new things, manage your time, honor yourself and explore your potential and possibility.

I think it’s meant to be the other way around. I think we have it right with our children and we have messed it up in adulthood!

There is a tendency to see coaching and self-development work to be about, ‘where I am lacking’.

Coaching is not about growth and development from a place of lack, of beating ourselves up or pushing ourselves to excel, its not about struggle and resistance.

Coaching is about learning to love and accept yourself, to be happy RIGHT NOW and then deciding to build a business, develop yourself personally and improve your mental health. You decide to do these things not because they will complete you, but simply because you want to. Because love and happiness drives us to grow.

Growth and evolving is the whole point of our existence!

If you found this helpful please take a moment to like and follow The Collective Org: Life Coaching and Strategy with Laura Carrocci on Facebook and if you would like to know more about coaching or my Your Life Designed Coaching Program for 2018 (I cant wait to share this one soon!) please email me here.

There are still a few spaces left for Sundays Life Design workshop too. Register here if you are free to join me!

Love to you all and take good care of you.

Photo credit: Kirsty Burns Photography

ps. Exciting things are happening behind the scenes! Over the next few months you will start to receive new tips and strategies, audio and video recordings and lots of free material to help you get a handle on overwhelm, manage your emotions, your time, your money and start to design the life you desire. To keep informed and receive all the materials and offers please like and follow on facebook and watch this space!

x

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