Articles 2017-12-21T20:25:19+00:00

ARTICLES

2507, 2017

Goals are worthless without strategy, commitment and action

25th July 2017|

When it comes to goals, setting them is the easy part. It’s like having a vision for your future, easy to imagine it in our mind, but getting there takes strategy, commitment and action.

Often our habits, behaviours we have been doing for so long they feel automatic, unconscious, are what we need to really work on to reach our goals. How we choose to spend our time, what we give our attention to, our habits, can either move us forward or hold us back.

When you get a moment today take some time to consider these questions:

What is a goal you have set for yourself?

Why does it as matter to you?

Why have you not achieved this goal to date, what action or inaction on your part has been holding you back from achieving it?

What needs to change, in your daily habits, for you to actually reach this goal?

What do you do to numb out? To buffer your emotions? (e.g. over eating, over drinking, over procrastinating, over exercising, over Facebooking, gambling, worrying, gossiping, basically anything you overdo to avoid feeling negative emotion like stress, overwhelm, boredom).

How does this ‘overdoing’ hold you back from reaching your goals? From moving forward?

What is one change you can make starting today that will move you closer to your goal this week?

We are all working on ourselves, from the inside out, to be stronger, to be better than what we were yesterday. At the end of the day that’s what we are here to do, to grow, to evolve.

I hope these questions have you thinking about how you can go one step further this week with your goals.

Would you like me to help you create a personalised daily protocol for you to start moving toward your goals?

I offer this free consultation because I am a coach who specialises in coaching people to better manage their emotions, stop buffering and start living the life they desire. If you find value in this free session you may want to become a client.

Before you register for the free session know that I cannot help everyone. I can only be of benefit to you if you are ready for making changes in your life. If you are sick of a life on repeat, if you want to grow into your potential, if you are ready to start truly living this life you have, then here’s what to do next.

Like and follow The Collective Org: Life Coaching and Strategy with Laura Carrocci on Facebook and send me a message via the facebook page with your name and email address and I will be in touch.

Love to all. Take good care of you.

Photo credit: Kirsty Burns Photography

2307, 2017

HOW TO STOP LOSING IT ALL THE TIME AND START TO FEEL BETTER

23rd July 2017|

Where did that fun, exciting, energetic me go? What happened to her?

When we get caught up in overwhelm, being rushed, in our to-do-list we leave little room for fun, joy and spontaneity. It feels like there is hardly enough time in the day to get the basics done, meals prepared, kids fed, school drop off, exercise if we’re lucky, work, family, caring for others, fill out those forms, enrol the kids in art, pick up the dry cleaning, listen to all those messages in voice mail, respond to emails, call the friend who has been having a hard time, remember to speak to our partner at some point in the day! The list goes on, and on, and on.

I get it. I understand.

So what’s the solution?

We all have things in our every day that we have to do. Eat, shower, work, care for others. Things that are just essential to our every day. When we spend our time raging against this reality it robs us of our energy for life, for the things we enjoy. We rush through our days giving little attention to what we need to thrive, we neglect our relationships and heath and we end up tired, wired and resentful.

It’s Sunday. A new week is about to begin.

Take a moment to sit still, forget about the to-do-list for just a moment, gran and pen and paper and write down your responses to these questions:

1. What would help me thrive and feel really happy?

2. What does my family need to thrive?

3. What is my highest aspiration for myself?

4. What is my highest aspiration for my children?

5. What do I need in order to make this week ahead successful?

6. Where is the joy in life now?

7. Where is the fun?

8. How content am I?

9. How connected and engaged am I with my partner, kids, friends and loved ones?

10. Am I in love with my life?

11. What do I feel most alive doing?

12. What is stopping me from following my joy?

Would you l like me to help you create personalised daily method for you to start to better manage overwhelm, to stop buffering your emotions with habits that don’t serve you and to design a life that allows you to actually live this life you have?

I offer this free consultation because I am a coach who specialises in coaching people to better manage their emotions, stop buffering and start living the life they desire. If you find value in this free session you may want to become a client.

Before you register for the free session know that I cannot help everyone. I can only be of benefit to you if you are ready for making changes in your life. If you are sick of a life on repeat, if you want to grow into your potential, if you are ready to start truly living this life you have, then here’s what to do next.

Like and follow The Collective Org: Life Coaching and Strategy with Laura Carrocci on Facebook and send me a message via the facebook page with your name, email address and I will be in touch.

Happy Sunday loves.

xx

1707, 2017

Success: what does it mean?

17th July 2017|

– So I have been thinking a lot about success lately and what the hell it even means. Our parents wished for us ‘every success in life’. The outside world would have us all believe that it is a nice house, car, bank balance, that success is in what we do, what we have, what others think of us. But we have all been there, we have all achieved that goal, landed that job, partner, baby, only to find that nothing really changes that much, we don’t get to sit back and bask in the glory of success never to work again. The car looses it new car smell, the great job with the fantastic salary becomes mundane, the baby cries, the partner pisses us off –

– So what is it that we are all after? What does success look like to you? And how do we feel better in a life where things are unpredictable and ever changing? –

– Here are my rambling thoughts on all of this –

– Success is an inside out job. An INSIDE OUT job. It is best boiled down to what you need in a day to feel good. To perform well and to bring your best self to your family, work and relationships. If you are not at the top of your list, if your own self care does not come first, you can have all outward signs of success but you will be inwardly suffering –

– We survive in a world of constant change and unpredictability by letting go of the need to control everyone else and everything else. Yes let it go. Other people tend to not do what we want them to do, and when we rely on others complying with our ‘rules’ we set ourselves up for a lifetime of resentment and pain. Other people can do whatever the hell they like. What we can control is ourselves and our mindset. Who are you walking around with in your mind? What are the things you say to yourself, about yourself, your life, your circumstances? About other people? Wayne Dyer said it better than anyone, “If you change they way you look at things, the things you look at change.” –

– If you are interested in better managing your time, your mindset and your emotions, in getting on-top of that feeling of overwhelm, of being rushed and distracted. If you want to improve your quality of life, be more productive, improve your relationships and overall wellbeing – I truly believe coaching is for you. Coaching is not therapy. Coaching does not focus on your past, but on your future. Come coach with me? Or if you want to dip your toe in the water check out my upcoming workshops below –

Upcoming Workshops

Overwhelmed? Manage your Time, Sunday 6 August 2.00pm – 3.30pm @ The Nourish’d Kitchen Stepney.

Self Care & Optimal Wellbeing, Sunday 27 August 2017 10.00am – 11.30am @ Brick and Mortar Creative, Norwood

Business Design Masterclass, Friday 4 August 12.00pm – 3.00pm. Very limited number of tickets available.

Life Design Speaker Series: Optimal Wellbeing for Success, Tuesday 12 September 2017 @ St Andrews Medical Center, Adelaide. Check out our fantastic line up of speakers!

2505, 2017

How to Thrive in a Life Guaranteed of Challenge and Change

25th May 2017|

Do you sometimes feel flooded or hooked by an emotion? Something happens and its immediate, it’s physical and it takes it over your body. Emotions like anger, frustration, resentment, impatience and anxiety.

Do you sometimes feel guilty about how you are feeling? Like you shouldn’t feel stressed, angry, worried and rushed as often as you do? Like there must be something wrong with you, with your life?

How do we feel better in our everyday lives? In a life where we are guaranteed of challenge, suffering and change?

We are sold the idea that we are what we do, what we have and what other people think of us. We are told that we will feel better by buying more stuff, achieving more ‘success’, joining a gym and reaching a certain number on the scales. But all of us know that this is total rubbish. No job, car, house, holiday, bank balance, marriage, baby or promotion ever give us lasting happiness. They are moments of pleasure yes, but the real lottery is when we can manage our internal world.

The secret to feeling better is in what it takes internally, in our thoughts, emotions and actions, to thrive.

I believe we have gotten 2 things wrong when it comes to emotions.

ONE: EMOTIONS HAPPEN TO ME…

No, they don’t!

Emotions are not determined by our circumstances or by the people in our lives.

We don’t feel appreciated because we were given a gift, we don’t feel happy because of the promotion, and we don’t feel stressed because of the kids and the never ending to-do-list.

We feel these emotions because of what we are thinking.

What we are thinking about what is happening to us, is more important than what is actually happening to us.

What determines our emotional agility, our ability to manage all emotion, is how we choose to see our circumstances, in how we choose to think. BOOM!

TWO: I SHOULD FEEL HAPPY ALL OF THE TIME…

I should feel happy all of the time and if I don’t there is something wrong with me.

Wrong!

I am sorry to break the news, but we will never stop feeling negative emotions. Life is about the contrast, we need to feel happiness and sorrow in order to know the difference.

I believe life is equal parts beauty and beast. The sad thing is that most of us, spend most of our time, in uncomfortable emotion.

The real question isn’t how do I feel happy all of the time? Rather, how do I develop emotional agility? How do I get better at thriving internally in a life that will always have challenge, change and suffering?

Here are 8 strategies that I teach to my clients and use in my everyday life that I believe help develop better emotional agility.

1: DON’T PUSH EMOTION AWAY

Don’t push emotion away. Take a good look at it. Take a good look at the beautiful mess that we all are!

We are told be happy, be grateful, don’t feel negative emotion. The result of this constant barrage of ‘be happy’ talk is that we push negative emotion away. Cut yourself a break. Just let it be and take a good look at it.

Negative emotion is a sign post, it is a flashing light in your life and when we take a good look we are able to see where we can take effective action. We become unstuck, more awake and present and we create space to choose how we respond.

2: EMOTIONS ARE NOT COMMANDS

You can handle any emotion. They are just feelings. They do not have to command an immediate response. See your emotions as feedback, as data and ask yourself who is in charge here? The emotion or me the human being capable of many emotions. Create a pause between the feeling and the response.

3: DROP THE JUDGEMENT

So often we judge ourselves for our emotions. We feel guilty for feeling unfulfilled or we feel shame for feeling angry at the kids. This judgement actually amplifies our negative emotion. You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. Negative emotion is normal. We are not meant to feel good all of the time.

4: FIND THE SPACE IN BETWEEN

That space between the circumstances of your life, the event or trigger and your response is where you will find the power to choose, the key to your growth. When we find the space in between we see that we can choose how we think, how we feel and how we respond and when we become more intentional about this we get better results and we feel better.

5: DON’T BUFFER AWAY YOUR EMOTIONS

Many of us fill that space in between with habits that don’t serve us. We do things to avoid negative emotion. We over eat, over drink, over shop, work, procrastinate, gamble, exercise, the list goes on. We turn to false pleasures to avoid having to deal with negative emotion. We think it will make us feel better but ultimately it increases it, then and adds guilt and shame on top. When we stop checking out we see our lives for what they truly are and we learn that we are able to manage all emotion and choose how we respond.

6: ALWAYS FIND THE INTERNAL CAUSE

Always find the internal cause of your emotion. Remember nothing outside of you us responsible for how you feel. Nothing. Ask yourself, what is internal cause of this feeling? It’s not the kids, your boss, your spouse, the traffic, the news! Ask yourself, what thought is creating this feeling?

7: BE CURIOUS

Be curious. Take a seat in the grandstand and have a good look at what is going on in that mind of yours. Notice the thought, notice the feeling, notice any stories you are telling yourself. When you do this you begin to see that you are not your mind. Your mind may be crazy at times, but it does not have to control you.

8: NAME IT, THEN CHALLENGE IT

What was the thought? (e.g. I am not good enough) What was the feeling? (e.g. fear and anxiety) What was the story? (e.g. I won’t ever get back into the workforce because I have been out for too long). Then be critical. Challenge your thinking. Is it steering you toward your goals, toward your values and priorities or away? Is this story true?

I believe the key to our wellbeing is how we manage our mind, our emotion and our time. What determines our feelings is how we choose to think. One person’s wonderful life, car, house, job, holiday can be another’s hell. How you decide to think determines how you feel. I am not saying you should or can feel happy all the time. When someone dies you want to feel sad, when your child is in pain you don’t want to feel happy. I am also not saying you should think happy thoughts and stay in an abusive relationship or toxic job. But I believe that you can choose to feel empowered, strong and clear and then decide to leave, or stay, and that feels so much better than blame and victimhood.

I encourage you to approach yourself with courage, curiosity and compassion, and to take a good long look. You will begin gain a deep understanding of what is going on in your mind and you will start to make decisions and act in ways that align with who you are at your core, with your values, with how you want to feel and with where you want to go in this life.

2205, 2017

Work Life Balance. No Thanks.

22nd May 2017|

Work life balance. Bah blah blah.

This illusive work life balance that we are all meant to be working toward is not only impossible to achieve, but I don’t believe we truly want it.

To evenly distribute ourselves and our time between all our different responsibilities? No thanks.

What I think we are all seeking is a sense of alignment. Where everything is in its rightful position.

So what does that look like?

I believe it is knowing what your highest priorities are right now and ensuring that they are reflected in how you spend your time.

What are your top priorities this week? Health, family, work, friendship, moving house, caring for a sick relative, nursing a broken arm, developing a new idea, reading a book, starting to write a book, going slow, going fast?

Our priorities change, sometimes in the moment when our child falls ill or when we injure ourselves, sometimes in the time of year when a number of projects are on the go at work. They change in the year, in the season of life. What matters is knowing what is important to you, right now, today, this week, and ensuring that how you spend your time reflects this.

List your top 2 priorities in your personal life and your top 2 priorities in your professional life right now. Then take a look at the week ahead. Does the schedule reflect those priorities? What needs to change, what do you need more of, less of, what support do you need, what is compulsory, what is optional?

When we get clear on what is most important right here and right now, and take a good look at how we choose to spend our time, we see where there is room for change and we realise we have the power to choose.

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